Unique living situation

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    I have my first intake meeting in a couple months. In the meantime I’ve been lurking and asking questions on the forum to make sure that I can qualify and get some understanding. As I know each person situation is different and from what I read from a lot of previous posters that that more simple your situation is the faster you can move thru the program. My situation is anything but simple. Right now I stay with my son’s father. We have a rental agreement that states I pay half the rent and half of the utilities and groceries for myself and my kids. I pay him in cash. It is shown on my bank statements at the end of the month the amount that is withdrawn to pay my half. I have been doing this for a couple years. I am the one who wants to do this program for me and my kids. My child’s father is not interested / included or living with us once the house is purchased. I’ve searched and I’ve searched and everything I have read says that his income and credit will have to be considered. My problem is I don’t think he will consent to that. As I stated before he has no interest in this program and honestly if it’s anything to help me he won’t do it. What are my options? What is it I need to do? Also since it’s his name on the lease of the home we stay in, and i pay him and we have a written agreement he is considered my landlord correct? I hate this situation that I am in but I am determined to get out of this situation and provide a stable home for my kids and myself.

    Any one have any idea what it is I need to do?


    First I would start off by getting receipts from him showing that you pay rent. If not then I would write him a check OR give him a money order/cashiers check so I could have proof that I’m paying him. Since you say that he might not want to help you, there is no telling if he will even fill out the paperwork because technically he is your landlord. I don’t completely understand why someone would tell you his information would go with your application when he isn’t the one who would live with you. Only folks that qualify would be those that are moving in with you… the situation doesn’t seem complicated at all. No different then any other possible living situation-arrangements. Pay the difference in your payment shock for your ideal mortgage in your savings account. All guidelines will surely come from your mc to steps to getting you out of this situation! Long as you have receipts and pay him on time , I don’t see anything really holding you back from starting to get the ball moving!


    Thank you Bleublue. I love what I’ve read about the program, but not everyone situation is black and white. I would hate for this to hold me back. I’ve been worried about this. I will bring this to the attention of my MC to see what to do. Technically we are roommates he just happens to also be the father of my youngest son.

    Anyway thank you again for responding. Sometimes the board can be really slow.


    Congratulations on finding NACA and taking the first steps to making a better life situation for yourself and your kids. This program will be worth the wait, I promise.

    There are a few of issues here, as I see them. All totally doable.

    1. You need to start paying the rent by check or bank transfer. It’s important for the NACA documentation process. As far as I know, you can still pay the utilities in cash, if you prefer. (But double-check that).

    2. If your son’s father isn’t going to be part of your household in the future, he’s not part of the application process any more than a roommate would be. Your MC should be able to help you make this very clear in terms of the paperwork. It’s good that you have a rental agreement that spells out the terms, so that’s a start. It may take some real clarity by keeping your expenses completely separate: paying your rent with a check; creating a clear budget for your food, utilities, and other household expenses to show NACA that your finances are separate, as a roommate’s would be.

    3. If your son’s father will be paying child support once you move out, you should probably start getting that set up now with the relevant authorities so that you can have a paper trail. It will affect your affordability. Be sure to ask about that with your MC and get started.

    4. As BleuBlue mentioned, you’ll want to make sure to save enough each month for payment shock. That’s your current half of the rent + the difference to equal your future mortgage payment (PITI = combined mortgage, interest, taxes, and insurance monthly payment). If your current portion of the rent is 500 but you want a 700 mortgage PITI, you’ll need to save at least $200 per month in addition to your rent. Save as much as you can, and remember that it’s the total combined balance of all your bank accounts — they need to go up by a total of at least that amount per month.

    Good luck, and don’t sweat it. It may take some time, but you’ll get the paperwork sorted out and will be on your way to a new home for your family!


    Hello kirkan1981,

    Homesweetboston pretty much nailed it. I think what happened is you made a small (but easy to do) misinterpretation of the rules about all household members over the age of 21 being included in the financial picture. Specifically, that’s the members of the household who will be living in the home you buy.

    For example, it’s not uncommon for people to move back in with their parents or other family members temporarily for the specific purpose of saving money to buy a house. Obviously we aren’t going to include the parents’/relatives’ finances in determining affordability and getting the buyer qualified. Same thing applies in your case.

    As homesweetboston inferred in the overall theme of their post, you need to document everything. Because of the current living arrangement, you are going to have to be able to track every dollar and show where it went. If your utility and other contributions toward household expenses aren’t specified in the agreement you have, draft an additional agreement to cover that.

    FYI, you are going to have to provide a documented 12-month track record of abiding by the terms of the agreement, so it could also push back any timeline you may have set for yourself.

    I realize it could be a bit of a daunting task for you, but it will be well worth it. Take the attitude of “if you can’t prove it, you can’t claim it” and you will be well on your way. Work closely with your counselor to make sure you are able to provide everything needed to clearly explain and document your present living arrangement.

    Tim Trumble
    Online Operations, NACA

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